On the Edge by Bija Bennet, From Breathing into Life
There is a part of you that needs to know what’s going to happen before you do anything. The part of you that wants to be safe and predictable.
The truth is that being really open to yourself is not predictable. It is not safe.
It is on the edge.
If you try to control the outcome of anything – people, places, and things – you may get control of the form but you destroy the substance. You lose the joy of responding to the creative energy of your life.
All holding on, all forms of control originate in your body with your breath.
When you are afraid, you protect, grab, or push away. You do the same thing with your breath. Watch yourself sometime. When this happens (and it will) tune in to the network of your tightness. Watch your breathing. And notice how tense your body feels when you try to control.
Note the disturbance inside and be with it. Move into it and allow it.
It’s true you don’t know where anything will lead you.
Maybe you could fall off the cliff. Maybe you could fly. Let the discomfort build. Be real with what is there. Observe your inhale and exhale and be gentle as you guide your breath to deeper levels. The feelings may even escalate. Surround yourself with your awareness. Accept your turmoil, uncertainty, or fear. Get in there with it. But don’t lose track of your breath. Watch the parts of your body that feel irritated, frustrated, or hurt. Where are you most uncomfortable? Remain with your breath.
You may feel like sighing or even sobbing. It’s just the pressure that wants to be released. Let yourself go. You are actually more secure when you let go.
Stay on the edge.
Wow. This really resonates with me. And you?